BE STILL AND KNOW: CULTIVATING SELF COMPASSION
Yielding To Yes And Leading My First Weekend Retreat
Dear Ones:
This past weekend I traveled to Texas, by invitation, to lead my first retreat. Although I’ve taught hour-long guest workshops on a variety of topics, I have never accepted the responsibility of planning and teaching a full weekend retreat, but how grateful I am that I did!
The retreat was entitled, Be Still And Know: Cultivating Self Compassion. We had 50 women registered and only a few couldn’t make it. We spent the weekend exploring exercises, stories, practices, and processes centered around the theme of self-compassion, for a total of seven workshops. Although I intuitively knew it was a powerful topic, I had no idea how much it was needed nor how deeply it would resonate with the women.
When I first accepted the invitation, it felt to me like a fairly daunting task, but fortunately one of the organizers of this Spiritual Retreat For Women In Recovery was a great support every step of the way. Gina is the super-organizer of the retreat, the one sending all the emails, ordering t-shirts, printing the plethora of hand-outs, creating gorgeous folders for the participants, and more. She also has a gift for design and decor. She created a beautiful space for the women to experience the practices and processes we shared, infusing our meeting space with serenity and calm beauty.
Another organizer, Becky, prepared an elaborate yet accessible creativity station. There were tables loaded with materials to make and decorate personal boxes, and other creative opportunities. Becky and Bridget created themed goodie bags for every single woman in attendance to welcome them and remind them of self-care. Let me just say, when women come together, each using her gifts, well, magic happens.
What are a few of my takeaways from the retreat?
Any time you step into leadership you are given a new opportunity to heal yourself. For me, what was needed after all of my workshops were planned, was to notice and release my desire to control the outcome, and instead, yield the experience to Spirit. I asked that the weekend not become the “Mary Thoma Show.” I asked for Spirit to use me as a vessel— I rowed the boat by doing my preparation, but She was the current that carried us along.
Giving ourselves self-compassion is not a complicated process. We simply weren’t taught how to do it but once you learn some simple fundamentals, you can do it anytime, anywhere. Self-compassion is a much-needed skill for your spiritual toolbox and it’s easy to learn. Self-compassion can be a practice - just like prayer/meditation, yoga, breath-work, and other practices. Like anything else, the more we practice the more we benefit. This is the best place to start.
Play is an antidote to self-judgment and the heaviness of some of the material we explored. How good it was to laugh together by playing games. It was a powerful reset, restoring us to lightness so that we could continue to do the work.
What was my favorite moment from the retreat?
It’s a tie. Game playing and heart openings.
Leading games for adults is a special love of mine. Many adults initially think that they do not want to play games. They don’t want to appear silly and certainly don’t want to feel embarrassed. It can bring a lot of resistance and trepidation. Fortunately, my background in theater and experience teaching games helps me draw others in and put them at ease. Watching the women’s knees buckle, collapsing on each other in raucous laughter, no longer worrying about how they looked, but instead swept up in play —feeling connected, relaxed, engaged, and present — was a joy to behold. I can still hear the lobby reverberating with their laughter.
And then, heart opening. There’s a story about a Rabbi and his student. The student says, “ Rabbi, why does the Torah instruct us to write the holy words on our hearts and not in our hearts? The Rabbi responds, “ Well, son… it seems that for most of us our hearts are closed. So we must write the holy words on our hearts…until one day when the heart finally breaks… and the words fall in. We witnessed breakthroughs of the heart this weekend. The words of self-compassion fell in and some of the pain fell out.
This weekend was a tremendous gift to me. I love teaching and facilitating experiences for groups. While I enjoy my online offerings, there is simply nothing like being present with people in the same space. Face to face. Heart to heart. These beautiful women were courageous, welcoming, and willing to go with me on this journey. It is a weekend I will never forget and one for which I will always be profoundly grateful.
🎉IN OTHER NEWS🎉
My digital mini-course, The WRITE 444 Challenge is now available for purchase and immediate access on my website. Huzzah! Over 3 hours of video content, prompts, and practices that support you in beginning to uncover the gems of your story and write about them! This mini-course is packed with goodness and I am offering it for only $44. Instantly available HERE.
👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼 50 % of the proceeds through the end of year go toward scholarships for Project 444. The other 50% will be donated to a local organization serving women and children.
PROJECT 444 kicks off again this winter - January 2023. This is my extended writing program to support you with weekly emails, multiple live calls, and a private network to share your stories with the group and receive loving witness and feedback. Email me to get on the waitlist. The winter months could be the ideal time to snuggle in, root down, write and share your stories in a supportive community. Join us!
‘Til next week, friends! Thanks for spending a few minutes here with me. I’ll get back to adding some recommendations again next week. You can comment here or reply to this email. Hope to hear from you!
xo Mary