ONE HEARTFUL THING #4: An Anthem to Our Younger Selves

"Always Be Here" by Jung Jin Woo

Sitting in this week’s coffee shop, I contemplate today's writing topic while my Spotify plays "Always Be Here" by Jung Jin Woo from the Netflix series, Chocolate. The reason behind my repeated attraction to this song as a sort of writing partner suddenly became clear to me for the first time.

But first, a quick story.

As an actor, I always used music as one of my tools to put me in the head space and heart space of the character I was playing. Sometimes my choice of music made absolute, rational sense, and other times it was just a gut feeling or mood state. I have learned to trust this process.

I remember playing the role of Becca in a stage production of Rabbit Hole by David Lindsay-Abaire. You may have seen the film with Nicole Kidman. It was a terribly difficult and wrenching role, playing a mother whose young son was hit by a car and killed. The play opens and it is six months after the accident. The entire play is a gorgeous, difficult, heartbreaking, and yet illuminating story of how families deal with grief ( and here’s a brief clip from the show where my character finally begins to release all her choked-down pain.) At the time, I stumbled upon Jose Gonzalez’s In Our Nature and played that CD over and over each night as I put on my makeup and prepared to step into the role. I couldn’t really tell you why that album worked so well for me, but it did, and I didn’t overthink it, I just trusted it’s invisible work in me. Likewise, recently I’ve been drawn to the soundtrack I mentioned. I’m not preparing for a role, but similarly, somehow this music has been feeding me and supporting me on this journey.

It was only today that I realized what was happening

I was drawn to the song and now I see that it acts as a portal to my younger self; reassuring her of my presence and comforting her while we do this difficult work of writing our memories. I realized that"Always Be Here" isn't just a soothing ballad; it's a personal anthem dedicated to my inner child.

I now see that by playing this soundtrack as I sit to write, I am quietly communicating to my inner child that I am here for her, that she is safe, that I love her, and that I will always be here for her- a promise I made to her and intend to keep. She suffered alone for far too long. And lately, while I haven’t been intentionally checking in with her as much as I used to before plunging into a writing session, I have been playing this song for her.

Memories can be both beautiful and painful. As a creative tool, music can heal, soothe, and guide us through our past while comforting those parts of us that need reassurance, illuminating the path toward emotional recovery. I no longer need to wonder why I keep playing that song.

Xo Mary

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Listen to Always Be Here

Look at your heart
Look at your heart's pain within
There is no way
To say you’re sorry again

Please don't be afraid
I will always be here
I will cry your tears
Share your sweet sad fears

Please don't let it go away
Take my hand in your hand
Come and rest my dear
I will always be here

Looking beyond
Looking way out by your sea
There is a place free from our worry
I know some day we’ll get there

Please don't be afraid
I will always be here
I will cry your tears
Share your sweet sad fears

Please don't let it go away
Take my hand in your hand
Come and rest my dear
I will always be here

Always be here

Please don't be afraid
I will always be here
Wipe your tears
Heal your sweet sad fears

Please don't let it go away
Take my hand in your hand
Come and rest my dear
I will always be here

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