I find the cultural phenomena of mothers leaving in Asian dramas very different indeed. Not only do I watch the Asian dramas, but read the fiction books as well. Often, mothers in these stories leave, sometimes they are forced, sometimes they believe it will benefit the child, and sometimes straight up abandonment. Not sure why this is part of the Asian culture.
I experienced a different culture. Where I grew up, mother's were looked upon negatively if they even left the home to work.....still prevalent today. What you wrote is a powerful example of mothers and the long lasting mark they leave upon their children, regardless if they are in the home or not. You speak so well of this mother-power.....especially when you mention love and longing.
It was brave to write this. Mother's Day is probably the hardest day of the year for women. Despite my good luck in this department, I hate this day for several reasons.....hate it a lot. My theory is it was invented by a man to find new and interesting ways to torture females. Let me know if you agree.
Mother's Day is only one day, so difficult for many--but the pain is there all the other 364 days of the year as well. I love the tie-in with the K-dramas; you weave it beautifully. I am so incredibly proud of you.
You capture this experience perfectly. I write about this same topic and the I find hardest thing to get across is, as you said, "love does not cancel longing." I've said it in so many different ways, but it's hard for those who haven't had this experience to grasp. Adoptees get it, but few others. People say, "but you had such a good father." I did. But that didn't remove the longing for a mother who left, and no matter how much I was enough for him, it never made me feel enough.
Kate, I know you know how affirming and supportive it is to hear from someone who has walked this path, so I thank you for taking the time to respond to this essay. I am so grateful that Sarah Fey helped us find each other. I plan to spend some time on your page very soon. My version was,"... but you had a loving grandmother," and yes, so TRUE. And a girl wants her mom. Period. I look forward to deepening our connection . <3
Yes, and thank you. I don’t write about this here on Substack, but elsewhere, and in a memoir in progress. I’ll be listening for you and glad to be in conversation!
I find the cultural phenomena of mothers leaving in Asian dramas very different indeed. Not only do I watch the Asian dramas, but read the fiction books as well. Often, mothers in these stories leave, sometimes they are forced, sometimes they believe it will benefit the child, and sometimes straight up abandonment. Not sure why this is part of the Asian culture.
I experienced a different culture. Where I grew up, mother's were looked upon negatively if they even left the home to work.....still prevalent today. What you wrote is a powerful example of mothers and the long lasting mark they leave upon their children, regardless if they are in the home or not. You speak so well of this mother-power.....especially when you mention love and longing.
It was brave to write this. Mother's Day is probably the hardest day of the year for women. Despite my good luck in this department, I hate this day for several reasons.....hate it a lot. My theory is it was invented by a man to find new and interesting ways to torture females. Let me know if you agree.
Mother's Day is only one day, so difficult for many--but the pain is there all the other 364 days of the year as well. I love the tie-in with the K-dramas; you weave it beautifully. I am so incredibly proud of you.
Thank you, Darla. It sure helps to have dear friends. 💜
You capture this experience perfectly. I write about this same topic and the I find hardest thing to get across is, as you said, "love does not cancel longing." I've said it in so many different ways, but it's hard for those who haven't had this experience to grasp. Adoptees get it, but few others. People say, "but you had such a good father." I did. But that didn't remove the longing for a mother who left, and no matter how much I was enough for him, it never made me feel enough.
Kate, I know you know how affirming and supportive it is to hear from someone who has walked this path, so I thank you for taking the time to respond to this essay. I am so grateful that Sarah Fey helped us find each other. I plan to spend some time on your page very soon. My version was,"... but you had a loving grandmother," and yes, so TRUE. And a girl wants her mom. Period. I look forward to deepening our connection . <3
Yes, and thank you. I don’t write about this here on Substack, but elsewhere, and in a memoir in progress. I’ll be listening for you and glad to be in conversation!
As always, achingly beautiful and resonant, Mary. It breaks and soothes my heart in so many ways. You are a wonder!
Your comment means the world to me, Judy. I appreciate your friendship and companionship more than you know. <3
❤️❤️❤️